Discovering the Unseen: Luis Gomez's Journey and the Birth of 'The Bottom Left Pane'

Dive into a world of untold narratives with the podcast that explores the unseen quadrant of the Johari window of our lives Here we uncover the hidden stories and unspoken truths of extraordinary individuals Revealing what others don't know about us but what we know about ourselves this is The Bottom Left Pane, what's up guys and welcome to the first ever episode of The Bottom Left Pane.

I'm your host, and I'm going to be your guide on this journey of discovery, Luis Gomez. And first and foremost, let me just say, thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this podcast. It has been a very huge passion of mine for quite some time and to finally be able to share it with everybody I am ecstatic.

So thank you so much again. And Yeah, let me just kind of dive into a little bit about what the show is about So as I kind of mentioned the show's title is called The Bottom Left Pane And so what that refers to is the bottom left pane of the Johari window model and so what the Johari window model is it's a Psychological model that it's used for understanding and improving self awareness, communication, and interpersonal relationships.

It consists of four quadrants or four panes, and those panes are going to consist of the top left, the first pane, which is the open area, the arena. This quadrant represents traits or information known to oneself and also known to others. You know, so the example of this could be common knowledge about a person's job, known skills, hobbies, uh, much like, you know, think of a sports fan, right?

So let's say someone's a fan for, um, you know, the Yankees, the Dodgers, whatever the case may be, you know, typically they have some sort of Jersey. They have, you know, a banner, a hat, stuff like that. Stuff that says, Hey, I am a fan of this sport, this team, uh, you know, that lets other people know that, Hey, like everybody look at me.

I, I. And for this, that's going to be stuff that's in the open area. Now we get to the second pane, the top, right? This is going to be the blind area or the blind spot. And this is kind of like the blind spot of a car, right? So this is going to include things about a person that others know, but the individual themselves is unaware of.

Right. So examples of this might be some sort of, you know, perceived arrogance or a habit of interrupting others, or, you know, things like that, which a person doesn't recognize, right? So let's say somebody even has, maybe they have a funny laugh. Maybe they have some sort of, uh, they chew very obnoxiously, you know, things like that, little quirks that, you know, people know about this person, but, you know, they don't know about themselves.

Now, let's jump into the third pane, which is the bottom left. This is going to be the hidden area or facade. This quadrant covers aspects that the individual knows about themselves, but really chooses not to reveal to others. Right? So some examples could be personal fears, secrets, or dreams not shared.

And actually let me backtrack and say, you know, sometimes it's not even so much that they're choosing not to reveal to others. Right, sometimes it could be for reasons instead of being scared or pressured into not speaking. Maybe it's just because a I don't have somebody to. Talk to about these things that I've done.

Or even sometimes, Hey, you know, I, I totally forgot I did this thing, and nobody's even asked me if I've, if I've ever done something like this. Right? So that's the bottom left pane. And the fourth pane is gonna be the unknown area, which is the bottom right. And this is gonna consist of information, feelings, abilities and experiences unknown to both the individual and others.

You know, examples are really just gonna be. Uh, like undiscovered talents or unconscious motivations, right? For all we know, uh, somebody listening, right? You could be the best underwater basket weaver. out there and, and you probably don't even know it yet because you haven't tried, but yeah, that's, that's a little bit about the Jahari window model and, you know, why, why it's called The Bottom Left Pane, but I guess really why I decided to jump into this show and do this and, and really kind of talk about the, these hidden aspects of these hidden stories of people's lives.

You know, it's, it's been a, Deeply meaningful project for me because I'm very curious and very passionate about human stories, the human experience and the connections that are made there between people and their their similarities in their stories, right? Because for me, really, the big thing has always been like You know, listening for stories of people that have been through similar circumstances that have done things that I've wanted to do, because that then tells me, Hey, there is a blueprint that that is there that could work for me, right?

This formula could work for me. This, this tells me if this person could do this under these, these circumstances. Then I could probably do it too, right? And really the motivation behind creating this platform really comes from a deep desire to, to celebrate authenticity and really understand the full story and, and, and provide individuals with that space to, to share these hidden parts of their lives.

Because one thing I've learned too is people really crave to be seen, to be heard, and most importantly, to be understood. Now I know some people will say sometimes like, you know, I don't really like to be seen, I don't like to be heard, I don't like the spotlight. And you know, that's, that's totally true. I see that.

I know that people don't like the attention, but they still want to be understood. You know, even by saying that they want to be heard, they want to be, they want it to be known that they don't want that, but they still want to be understood. And so really That that's because when we feel heard and understood, it psychologically validates our thoughts, our feelings and experiences, fostering a sense of self worth and self esteem, you know, it's like our emotions and thoughts are being acknowledged and affirmed, making us feel valued and accepted.

So really, I wanted to give a voice. To these untold stories and experiences that people often keep tucked away because early through this podcast, I aim to promote, you know, empathy, understanding, and self acceptance by unveiling the diverse and, and complex nature of these human experiences. Now, as for what our listeners can expect, you know, I'm hoping that it's going to be a transformative journey.

You know, when people engage with The Bottom Left Pane, I'd like for them to experience a heightened sense of empathy. Understanding and compassion towards one another. The diverse perspectives and hidden narratives showcased in each episode, you know, will hopefully broaden the listener's horizons and challenge their preconceptions and encourage them to view the world through a more empathetic lens, you know, more over the podcasts will hopefully inspire individuals to embrace their own authenticity.

You know, and open up about their hidden aspects, you know, fostering deeper connections with those around them, really the podcast offers a supportive and inclusive community where individuals feel valued for their unique stories, you know, creating a sense of personal growth, shared discovery, and, and really, uh, hopefully a deeper appreciation of the beauty found within the hidden facets of the human experience.

So I kind of talked a little bit about. You know where the show came from and where the concept came from and a little bit about all of that stuff. So let me kind of tie in my personal story as to why I really decided to move forward with this. So just a little bit of context about who I am kind of in a nutshell.

Um, so I was born and raised in Orange County in Anaheim and I was really big in the performing arts. I got involved in band in middle school and then in high school. That's when I got involved with dance and all of the other performing arts, like choir, musical theater, uh, stuff like that. But dance was the one that pretty much.

held my heart, my one true love, right? And so, uh, I loved it so much that I even went to go get a bachelor of fine arts in dance in, uh, in college at, at UCSB. Uh, for those of you who don't know, that's University of California, Santa Barbara. But shortly after I graduated, unfortunately, that's when COVID hit.

So that's when I. Pretty much had to decide, right? Like, you know, what was I going to do with my life? Because, you know, at the time, since everybody was put on lockdown, that's when I, you know, couldn't perform anywhere. And then on top of that, you know, I was only stuck with taking virtual dance classes, which.

Quite honestly, isn't the same. I don't care who says what, like it's, you don't get the same energy that you get in the dance class. Right. So because of that, I actually wanted to dive right into programming and, you know, become a software developer and programmer. And so I went through with that. I thankfully got a job in the summer of 2020 as a consultant and then got contracted out to another consulting company.

Uh, from there, I actually was. Relocated to Texas, um, and then a couple of years in Texas, 2022, I got another job with a different company, um, with a bank that sent me to New York and now I'm a software developer in New York. So it's been, it's been, it's been quite a journey, but what I wanted to talk to you guys about is.

Even though I've gone through that whole career change, which was honestly one of my favorite things to do. It was a lot of work, but still very, um, just, just very awesome. Right? Uh, but the, the thing that I wanted to talk about was what happened in 2021. My first year in Texas, because really that has now become a very important part of my story.

And kind of why, again, I decided to go through with this. So in 2021, I moved to Texas and in September of 2021 was when actually there was a big moment in my life. Unfortunately, I decided to make an attempt at my life and thankfully it didn't work out, but I was actually put in a psychiatric ward for a couple of weeks.

And that's actually where I. learned a lot. So to kind of back up a little bit before I got there. Yeah. So at the beginning of 2021, actually, that's where things started to go downhill. That's when actually it was the end of my relationship. Um, and that actually was the start of kind of the domino effect and Unfortunately, what happened was, because of that, I guess I got triggered by some sort of abandonment issues that I didn't realize I had, and because of that, things started to spiral, and so, because of that, I had all of these insecurities hit me all at once, and a lot of unprocessed emotions and traumas that were affecting me that I didn't realize that I was suppressing, right?

So, these were things like dealing with deaths in my family, the big ones were, Um, my father, unfortunately, he got deported when I was two, so I didn't get a chance to know him a whole lot. But when I was supposed to meet him for the first time when I turned 16, he, unfortunately, he passed. And so I didn't get a chance to ever meet him, and those emotions kind of just, I, I tucked away.

Because for me, it's always been about distracting myself with some sort of self improvement. And so at the time, I was doing high school, so I was like, you know, hey, I'm just gonna push through it. And later down the line, my grandmother, she passed away at the beginning of 2020 and she was like a mom to me.

So once that happened, I again, didn't know what to do because I felt like even she would have been the first person to tell me to, you know, push through it and not even cry and just, just get up and, and, and get back on it again. And so that's what I did. Now, unfortunately too, I not only tried to distract myself with my work and getting involved in all of that.

But also too with pleasures, right? Like playing video games, uh, ordering door dash, like all of that stuff. And because of that, everything was just stacking up, piling up. And in 2021, like I said, when all of this started to happen, everything was starting to hit me all at once. So. What did I do? I did what I do best, and I tried to ignore it.

I tried to get involved with, uh, dance again. I learned how to kickbox. I, um, got involved with a fellowship program that was gonna help me get a new, a better tech job. And so I was just sticking to that routine. I felt like I was doing good, you know. I was, like, staying active, making sure, like, mentally I was stimulated, and, like, really, you know, making progress.

But because I was ignoring everything I burned out. And so in September of 2021, you know, all of that kind of hit me at once. And I eventually just couldn't take it anymore. And like I said, I ended up in the psychiatric hospital and that's really where I had to learn a lot about how to start managing my emotions and really dealing with stuff as it comes up, instead of taking it out on people, things, even, even taking it out on myself.

And it was hard. It is definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And, you know, I, I'm so glad. Well, let me, let me kind of back up. I hate that it took everything that happened for me to get there, but I'm glad that I, I started to learn those skills because one, one big regret that I have was unfortunately when I was kind of in this downward spiral, I, I actually did start to take some of it out on my friends and other loved ones.

And it sucked. It sucked because, you know, looking back on it, they really deserved a healthier friend. Someone that was going to be there for them just as much as they were for me. And they didn't deserve to have me say things to them. Definitely said some things that hurt people. And, you know, it costed me, it costed me relationships that were very important to me.

I thankfully have been able to apologize to some of those friends and make amends. And kind of let them know all of the, all of the stuff that I was going through at the time, because, well, I mean, that, that person that I was then really wasn't who I was normally, it was because of everything that was finally coming out.

And so I was never saying these things because of them. I was saying it because of, you know, I was like either mad at myself or mad at the stuff that had happened to me, even though thankfully, you know, I have made, um, made up with some of those friends. There were also friends that I haven't had the chance to talk to again.

And talk to them and tell them this part of the story because well, I mean, I unfortunately burned some of those bridges and like I said, there are not a lot of great grits that I have in my life. But those those friends that I did burn the bridges with those are the ones that I, I do regret because they were the ones that were there for me and supportive of me and being there for me and pouring into my cup when.

You know, they, they didn't even have enough in their cup for themselves. And so to kind of come back when I was in the hospital, um, that's actually where I actually learned about the concept of the Jahari window from one of the therapists that was working there. And I started to really understand people and their need to be seen, to be heard, to be understood right in these times of crisis, or just because they were facing things, they were having their own human experiences.

That was different than mine, but you know, had some layer of complexity that I couldn't understand. And it made me very curious before I'd say, you know, I've never been super judgmental, but you know, I can't say I was always curious and it wasn't until going to the hospital, I had to realize like, it's so much more important for me to be curious than it is to be judgmental.

Because you really never know what somebody's going through or what somebody has been through to, to be in, in, in who they are. So keeping that with me and, you know, learning all of those things. The other thing I want to point out is, you know, when you get sent to one of these hospitals, it's not like, oh, you know, I have some sort of stomach bug or something.

They give you some kind of medicine and you're good. You know, you can like start going back to work the next day or something. No, this is, it's, it's a lot harder because it's not a quick fix, right? It's, it's, Hey, you like, they'll stabilize you. And then at some point you have to jump back into the world and either fall back into patterns and get back into that mindset that puts you there.

Or kind of learn what they gave you and start applying that to your life. And yeah, I'd say after that, it took me the next couple of years, all of 22 and 23 to really start to get a full grasp of everything that was needed to have everything that I needed in order for me to start managing my emotions and also to hold myself accountable and recognize, like, just, just really learn about who I was and how to handle myself.

So that way I wasn't going to. Be that person I was then for all of my friends again. And so, yeah, that's, that's how really this podcast came about because of that, in that moment, because at that point I even understood, like I did something I wasn't proud of. I was having this battle with my mental health because of all the stuff that happened to me, but that also doesn't excuse my actions.

It really just makes me. It makes me want to share this part of my story a lot more so people get a full understanding of who I am or can get a better understanding of who I am because for somebody to look at me and be like, Oh, well, he's just a programmer. Oh, well, he was just a dancer. Oh, he was just some, some guy.

And for them not to know that I've gone through this thing, I feel like that almost does me a disservice not to say like, Oh, I need this for some sort of attention or anything. It's more so that, you know, when, when I meet new friends or when I have people that are going to be important for me, they should understand like the whole story of who I am for the sake of knowing.

That's why I want to share the stories of others. Not only am I curious, I'm sure there's a lot of people curious out there about just people and the complexity and just how beautiful that complexity is in, in these human experiences. But I mean, sometimes, again, some people just need to be heard. Some people just don't have the right resources or the people to hear them out.

Sometimes, things do go unnoticed, and there is actually a whole lot more extraordinary in the ordinary. That's, that's kind of, that's kind of it really. Like, you know, I'm so thankful for that experience because if that didn't happen, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't have pursued this project. I wouldn't have jumped on, you know, on, on bettering myself this much.

So yeah, just to kind of give you guys a heads up. So this is going to be the kind of thing that you can expect in interviews that I have with guests. really finding out about things that they've gone through that most people don't know about, or if anybody knows about, um, and understanding more about who they are and the complexities behind that and who they are beyond the surface, right?

Who they are beyond than just Their job or how they came about to earn certain titles or things of that nature. And so if you're somebody that's curious about who people are and curious about how intricate some people's lives are, or just want to better understand different people and get a sense of understanding or compassion, then this is going to be the podcast for you.

And I'm hoping that, you know, with this, these stories, these interviews, that you can learn something from that, whether if it's just about the person, whether if it's about a field that you're interested in, or whether if it's, you know, just something that resonates with you that tells you, hey, if this person has done the same thing, or has gone through something similar than I, that I have gone through.

Who's to say I also can't be, be just as good or I can also make it through or whatever that is for you. So, thank you guys for listening and I hope you're excited to hear some really interesting conversations. So, stay tuned. Thank you for tuning in to The Bottom Left Pane. If you enjoyed our journey into the unseen stories today, don't forget to follow us on social media at Bottom Left Pane on TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram.

You can subscribe to our show on any platform where you get your podcasts to ensure you never miss an episode. And if you're interested in supporting the production of our show, consider checking out our Patreon. Even a contribution as little as a dollar a month can make a huge difference. Thank you for your support and for joining us in uncovering the hidden chapters of life.

And remember, sometimes the most profound stories are the ones we've never heard before.

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